It’s Saturday morning in London, as usual the weather is shit and I’m in work but luckily I’m getting paid to do nothing so I thought I’d have a little bash at the keyboard. So I’m going to give you guys an insight into my mindset when it comes to monogamy and dealing with girls who end up wanting more. It’s something which I’ve had to pay more attention to over the last couple years because as I’ve got better, there are more girls who inevitably want to have more. I’ve had some pretty disastrous experiences, I’ve lied and hoodwinked girls into maybe thinking there was more in the future when there wasn’t but we’ll get into all that.
My last relationship ended in May 2015, it was on and off for years, I had times when I was basically single but still sleeping with her and others. It was a mess. But I remember the break up well, we had finished university and the relationship and turned long distance because she wasn’t from this country. I went out with my friends and there was a new girl in the group and I fancied her a bit and as I sat there I realised that I couldn’t do anything with her and I wanted to. I knew all my friends wanted her and some of them had tried it on but I knew I could have her and about 6 months later I did actually get naked in bed but I was so drunk and whisky dick won that night. I didn’t get another chance.
I also didn’t enjoy the long distance aspect, I was a pretty bad boyfriend at the best of times, I’m not proud to say it but I cheated on her a lot and was pretty open about it to people around me. Now looking back, I’m ashamed of how I treated her and it was frankly a bit of sham, I also figured eventually she’d find out so I was living on borrowed time and I didn’t want to start a life with someone constantly looking over my shoulder. However, I did love the girl and enjoyed the good times we had together, I’d say some of the best moments in my life were with her. She was a good girl but I just wasn’t ready for a relationship that was heading towards the whole moving and starting a proper life together. I had some demons I needed to bury first. Basically I wanted to be free to shag lots of other women. Since that break up two and a half years ago I’ve shagged a fair few women, I’d put the number around 40-50 and I don’t regret anything. I still wake up with a smile on my face knowing that I’m single and I can do whatever I want, I owe nothing to anybody, I don’t have to pretend to be an upstanding boyfriend going to weddings and secretly wishing I can fuck the bridesmaids. I don’t have to divert my eyes so my girlfriend doesn’t catch me staring at the friend’s ass or anything like that. Now I see girls on my terms, I fuck them and decide whether I want more or not, I can take a month of girls and concentrate on other things knowing that I can find new girls and start again.
Over the average year, I probably meet around 2-3 girls that I feel like I genuinely click with and given different circumstances, I’d probably pursue something further with them. This year there has been 2 so far, I’ve really liked these two girls, they are very different people. The first was basically a party girl I met on Tinder, we chatted for a while and actually weren’t going to be in the same city for a month. I ended up banging her within half an hour of first meeting her. On paper I wouldn’t usually go for a girl like this, I know she has slept with a fair few guys, she’s obsessed with Instagram and that sort of thing(I refused to take any pictures for her) but eventually I got to know her better and she turned out to be pretty well rounded, she grew up in a really nice household and spends a lot of her time helping those less fortunate. She was really into me and it was mutual but we both knew that nothing would come of it so just enjoyed the time together. We’re not in the same place right now but she wants to spend next summer in London, she knows nothing will happen between us so it’s all good.
The other girl was the complete opposite and I broke one of my rules for her, which is never to date a girl from work. However, there were exceptional circumstances which is why I allowed it. I’d seen her around and thought she was hot but I work in a building with lots of hot girls so she was just another on the list. She actually started talking to me in a lift and I got off two floors before her but she got out and we continued chatting. All good, we stayed in touch, we went out and I wasn’t actually sure if she liked me or was just being friendly so I kissed her. Turns out she was into it but she was leaving the country the next week which sucked so we spent the whole week together. I know myself and occasionally I get that nagging feeling that I want a girlfriend, that week got rid of those feelings, I was able to project all of that on her. It was like a holiday romance except we would meet after work everyday, it was great, we got so well. Again, she’s thinking about moving back to London(nothing to do with me) so we’ll see how that goes. Ironically, these two girls are both 22, from Finland and come from towns about an hour apart. The Monogamy Monster hasn’t caught up with me yet but I can feel it knocking on the door occasionally and I need experiences like this, just short ones to keep it at bay.
In part 2, I’ll probably talk about all the various crazy girls I’ve dated and how that has all ended up.